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A slow page, a LONGTEXT column, and a VPN made me stop treating SELECT * as harmless.

This is Optimizer , a weekly newsletter sent from Verge senior reviewer Victoria Song that dissects and discusses the latest gizmos and potions that swear they're going to change your life. Opt in for Optimizer here . "I will explode your butthole with this poopmaxxer pesto," a calm Gen Z voice announced from my phone's speakers. "And don't worry, it doesn't taste like poop, unless that's what you're into … I don't know if Italians will approve of this, but it's for my … a-butt-a-hole-a!" What followed in that video was actually a pretty good recipe. Two cups of blanched peas mixed into a fairly standard pesto recipe for a yield of 18 grams … Read the full story at The Verge.

This is The Stepback , a weekly newsletter breaking down one essential story from the tech world. For more on streaming platforms, FAST channels, and the future of entertainment, follow Charles Pulliam-Moore . The Stepback arrives in our subscribers' inboxes at 8AM ET. Opt in for The Stepback here . How it started Before Netflix fully committed to becoming a streaming service and leaving DVDs behind , the company experimented with the idea of giving its subscribers a physical box that could access high-resolution digital copies of movies. Films would have been downloaded to the box in the evening and become available to users the next day. But … Read the full story at The Verge.